You probably saw that news headline today. I wonder if these common kids are in the same group as the slow children playing in a neighborhood near you.
As for me, I prefer the rare fast kids.
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Life goes on in this wonderful retirement community. I am surrounded by my loving family and friends. Life is good!
a Dose of Dave (Barry)
Thanksgiving is not merely a time of eating until we are big fat bloated carbohydrate balloons lying motionless on the sofa watching the Detroit Lions while actual gravy oozes from our pores. Thanksgiving is also a time of giving thanks --as the Pilgrims did so many centuries ago --for the fact that the malls are open on Friday. Otherwise we'd have to spend another day cooped up with our loved ones, not to mention toxic levels of leftovers, and the number of domestic drumstick assaults would be even higher than it is.
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Not everybody is comfortable with the idea of eating turkeys, which are, let’s face it, living organisms, like dogs or celery. You may wonder: Is there a more humanitarian option that you can serve for Thanksgiving dinner? There certainly is: tofu, a semi-foodlike substance secreted by soybeans as a defense mechanism. Tofu can be used as a high-protein substitute, as well as a denture adhesive or tile grout. In its natural state, tofu is tasteless and odorless, but if you form it into a turkey-shaped lump, season it well, add gravy, and bake it for two hours in a shallow pan at 350 degrees, you can also use it for minor driveway repairs.
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Not everybody is comfortable with the idea of eating turkeys, which are, let’s face it, living organisms, like dogs or celery. You may wonder: Is there a more humanitarian option that you can serve for Thanksgiving dinner? There certainly is: tofu, a semi-foodlike substance secreted by soybeans as a defense mechanism. Tofu can be used as a high-protein substitute, as well as a denture adhesive or tile grout. In its natural state, tofu is tasteless and odorless, but if you form it into a turkey-shaped lump, season it well, add gravy, and bake it for two hours in a shallow pan at 350 degrees, you can also use it for minor driveway repairs.
Johnna
Johnna is a portmanteau word made from JOHn (that's me) and my late wife DoNNA who is loved and will be missed forever.
3 comments:
When are grown, professional writers going to learn to place the adjective nearest the noun that it describes?
How difficult is it to write "KID'S COMMON VACCINE RECALLED?"
As for slow kids, they seem to be playing in more and more neighborhoods lately. I mean, when is the last time you saW a sign saying FAST CHILDREN PLAYING?
Hmmmm...
Dad, I've always laughed at that SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING sign as well.
Come to think about it, shouldn't that be KIDS' (plural possessive) rather than KID'S (singular possessive)?
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